Reflecting recently on the institution of marriage, I came to realize that monogamy in theological understanding, functions less as a prescriptive standard and more as a symbolic witness. The divine call to monogamy does not declare polygamy sinful. Abraham, Jacob, David, and several of the early fathers of the faith were polygamous in marriage. Yet, they enjoyed a close, even intimate, relationship with God. While there is no passage in the New Testament that outrightly or expressly condemns polygamy, the New Testament, in various parts of the gospels and epistles, promotes a standard of monogamy for Christian leaders and, by extension, believers. In this, it emphasizes fidelity, moral integrity, and discipline. Promotion of monogamy also served to distinguish Christian values from those of surrounding society. So, it is more of a standard than it is a rule or law.
Today, there are jobs that require incumbents to be single or otherwise unmarried. This is acceptable without presuming that the promoters of such jobs regarded being married as wrong or sinful. Similarly, emphasis on monogamy for Christians parallels the faithful relationship that the individual believer, and the Church as whole, are encouraged to have with Christ. It does not regard polygamy a sin. In this way, a monogamous marriage stands as a visible sermon about chastity, restraint, faithfulness, and devotion. It is the daily practice of love within boundaries. It is not so much about restriction as it is about reverence.
The monogamous marriage is a lived expression of spiritual discipline. It is the visible summit of a life governed by chastity, modesty, and self-control. It is a reminder that one’s faithfulness to one person mirrors one’s faithfulness to their God. It embodies the divine ideal of fidelity: constancy toward one, mirroring God’s unwavering commitment to His people. When God calls His people to monogamy, the purpose is not to condemn polygamy or declare it a barrier to salvation. Rather, He establishes monogamy as a symbolic testimony, which mirrors His own nature of faithfulness, restraint, and covenantal love. Thus, monogamy is not merely a moral standard; it is a witness.
It is easy to read (or, shall I say, misread) monogamy as a Western imposition. However, the Divine call to covenantal love transcends culture and geography. Monogamy is not the invention of any culture; it is a spiritual ideal rooted in fidelity and integrity. Across cultures and traditions, there have always been and will be some who feel led or called, not to marriage, but to complete consecration. These include celibate priests, monastics, and those who serve in single-minded devotion. The Apostle Paul spoke of marriage in these terms; not to devalue marriage, but to remind believers that both marriage and celibacy serve the same purpose of undivided commitment to God.
So, we must not see monogamy marriage as colonial inheritance or cultural relic. Rather, we should see it as a testimony, a living parable of God’s fidelity to His people. It is a call to husband and wife to mirror divine constancy, and thus raise families grounded in reverence, restraint, and love. In this way, marriage becomes a holy dialogue between heaven and earth. It is precisely what Paul was talking about when he wrote in his epistle to the Ephesians that marriage reflects the mystery of the union of Christ and His Church. This ideal finds its fullest expression in the monogamous union, which represents the apex of sexual restraint, mutual devotion, humble submission, and ethical responsibility. It mirrors divine fidelity as a covenant that binds in love and not in law. It is not merely a social convention; it is spiritual formation lived out in relationship.
To say that monogamy is a Western imposition, a cultural artifact that displaced indigenous traditions, would be an oversimplification. While Western jurisprudence codified monogamy under the influence of Christian moral philosophy, it did not invent the concept. Even where Western customs had influenced local practice, traditional forms of marriage often coexisted alongside them. Monogamy’s prominence in Western legal systems stems largely from centuries of Christian ethical influence, not from colonial decree. Yet, while it reflects Christian moral vision, it is not, in itself, a divine decree that invalidates other forms of marriage.
Therefore, marriage must not be seen as a colonial inheritance or a foreign intrusion, but as a sacred symbol of fidelity between spouses and, more profoundly, between humanity and God. It embodies purity, self-restraint, and covenant love, while acknowledging the divine purpose of procreation and godly upbringing. Christianity’s emphasis on monogamy was theological, not political. It was grounded in its interpretation of divine relationality rather than cultural superiority.
So, what do you think?
Yemi Akisanya
mediatoryemi 